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Michael's Boat Tour

by cafe magrana

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A short run of CDs of our new album 'Michael's Boat Tour'. Hand-designed by us (mostly Luke if we're being honest) and can be signed if you feel so inclined, just let us know.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Michael's Boat Tour via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 7 cafe magrana releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Woke Christmas 2023, Michael's Boat Tour, 1 Year and 9 Weeks, michael has a crush on evie, ghost wearing shoes, songs about how i feel about you, and Wake up and Break up Demos. , and , .

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1.
he can’t do a kickflip he can’t do any tricks he can’t do a tailwhip he can’t do any tricks he’s not got the moves he’s not got the moves he’ll never touch the sky on it at least he can stand up on it he’ll never really fly on it he’s not got the moves he’s not got the moves sell your house go by a boat (gap year) sell your board go by a boat (gap year)
2.
Jesus said 'I bless you when I sneezed, You were praying you were on your knees, Adam calls you helper but I just call you Eve, It sounds much more appropriate to me. Jesus said 'I bless you when you sneezed, He was always on your team it seems, Did you give God head or did he just make you perfect? That's a question that's quite near to me. Mike has a crush on Evie but she only loves God, And while she's sat in the pews he's just pacing his room, Getting a little more than a little miffed off, And he's starting to deify her, But she only really worships one God, Dean doesn't like that premodifier or whatever that word type is I've forgot, I have forgot. It looks like I've forgot. Mike has a crush on Evie, Christina has a crush on Eugene, Tim likes Tom and Tom likes Tim, And Ellen really really likes me. Mike has a crush on Evie, Christina was never one of the queens, Tim likes Tom and Tom likes Tim, And Eric really really likes me. Mike has a crush on Evie but she only loves God, And while she's sat in the pews he's just pacing his room, Getting a little more than a little miffed off, And he's starting to deify her, But she only really worships one God, Dean doesn't like that premodifier or whatever that word type is I've forgot, I have forgot. It looks like I've forgot, It looks like I've forgot, It looks like I've forgot, It looks like I've forgot.
3.
you missed the train it’s not like you catch it every day you’re too busy staring at the tracks at that little tuft of green poking out the rocks at the sun soon it will blossom and i will listen to exactly what you’ve found you know what you’ve found because you know flowers you know flowers by their names you know flowers by their names buttercup, primrose, aster, you’ve seen them before they keep growing but you seem to know them all i nearly killed that orchid on your windowsill it came back to life so you brought me a daffodil you like roses, tulips, daisies, lilies, chrysanthemums i like those blue ones and the yellow ones that look like the sun because you know flowers you know flowers by their names you know flowers by their names you know flowers you know flowers by their names (you know flowers you know flowers by their names) you know flowers you know flowers by their names (you know flowers you know flowers by their names) you know flowers you know flowers by their names
4.
i was just wondering if you were still plundering all of those foreign lands i’d never go on holiday with you i’d be too afraid that you might invade and steal all of their trade i’d never go on holiday with you id be too terrified that you might insight another genocide of the indigenous population as your soldiers unconsensual copulation goes unpunished and unchecked by a racist legal system you left in your wake that you left in place i was just wondering if you were still plundering all of those foreign lands i’d never go on holiday with you
5.
michael’s boat was far too small to sleep in we’ll stay up all night it will be quite harrowing his sails are broken so is his power luke will only camp with showers but at least we’ve got the ocean dobbo found a shark was in his pub it was rats arsed it was absolutely fucking skunked how’d they get that fish to drink so many pints I’ll never know but at least it’s from the ocean at least it’s from the ocean I would rather be a fish than be a bird or be a bee you’ll see that thankfully we’re from the sea I would rather be a fish than be a bird or be a bee you’ll see that thankfully we’re from the sea I would rather be at sea with you than by myself at sea I would rather be at sea with you I would rather be at sea with you than by myself at sea I would rather be at sea with you
6.
daniel wrote keep punching joe for me and i wrote that i’m daniel for him so i think that we are equal and if he were still here we would be friends but we are not because he is now dead and i don’t think that he’d like me because perversions of the truth have made me sick by those in power and those with power over me and i am scared and i am fearful of this world that we now live in its the world that’s made me sick so please pass me a paddle because i am trying trying my hardest to float so please pass me a paddle or an oar or a lifejacket because i want to float perversions of the truth have made me sick by those in power and those with power over me and i am scared and i am fearful of this world that we now live in its the world that’s made me sick perversions of the truth have made me sick by those in power and those with power over me and i am scared and i am fearful of this world that we now live in its the world that’s made me sick
7.
michael said nothing a wave goodbye would be stronger if looks could kill and still yours will not touch me because you’ve left me you’d rather be alone too many bedrooms now that you’ve left me with no one to fill that void or that hole or that vacuum you left in my heart not my home not my home i thought you loved me i thought that you really did but one year and nine weeks will be far too lonely and you will be feeling seasick i thought that you loved me i thought that you really did but one year and nine weeks will be far too lonely without you to tell me to quit one year and nine weeks will feel far too lonely
8.
My Friends 02:21
And Astrid was my friend And Enid was my friend And Brian was my friend And Steven was my friend And Astrid was my friend And Enid was my friend And Brian was my friend And Steven was my friend
9.
water is so freeing but then it is quite heavy id love to be at sea and see a fish look back up at me he’d compliment me on all of my webbed feet and he’d take me to his leader take me to your leader i am your new leader if we were muppets you’d be fozzie i’d be kermit i’m the centre of the if we were on the bear you’d be sidney i’d be carmen i’m the centre of the id be velma you’d be daphne you’d be fred and id be shaggy i’m the centre of the i’m the centre of the i’m the centre of the i’m the centre of the universe i’m the centre of the universe i’m the centre of the universe i’m the centre of the universe
10.
Oh Michael 01:57
good for you michael’ said evie to god ‘i still really hate him ive not forgive ive not forgot’ he thinks about boating i think about him your heart is full of worms said clay dixon but i think mines full of pins and needles pins and needles and needles pins and needles oh michael oh michael oh michael oh michael i can’t forgive i’ve not forgot oh michael oh michael oh michael oh michael i can’t forgive i’ve not forgot oh michael!
11.
Suncream can be warpaint if your enemies the sun, But I've never won, A battle that large, On my own. And the tanning booths that he's recruited might leave us all a little more than bronzed, We might end up more than bronzed, We might need a little more than aftersun. And I'm running out of steam, I'm so close to retiring, The lake looks so enticing. And I'm running out of steam, I'm so close to retiring, The lake looks so enticing. So let me rest here for a minute, It'll only take a second, Out your day, Please let me please let me rest, Please let me please let me rest. So let me rest here for a minute, It'll only take a second, Out of your busy day, Please let me please let me rest, Please let me please let me rest. And I'm running out of steam, I'm so close to retiring, The lake looks so enticing. And I'm running out of steam, I'm so close to retiring, The lake looks so enticing. And I'm running out of steam, I'm so close to retiring, The lake looks so enticing.
12.
Reunion 03:21
two weeks were a lifetime with my lifeline stripped away from me but now i’m free after just one year and nine weeks i’m happy you’re happy just sad that we can’t see eye to eye, snout to snout, your feet to my feet your little hands wrapped far too tight round my little throat you know i can’t sing very well at the best of times jellyfish on a wave oh i wish i had been saved hitched a ride caught a train back home to you my heads not getting much clearer nowadays you still didn’t tell me when you got home your whole journeys been a mystery and i’m not one for escape rooms i worried myself so sick i ended up diagnosed but i dont know when i’ll be getting much better i wanted to stay with you at home you knew i could never tell you no thought it better to cut my ties than bite at my hands you were the citronella flame to my mosquito sized brain couldn’t tell what was wrong with us please come home but not for me i wanna be home but not for you please come home but not for me i wanna be home but not for you please come i wanna be home not for me but not for you please come i wanna be home not for me but not for you i wanna be home
13.
Outro 01:24
(Applause)

about

Cafe Magrana’s 4th album surely places the unlikely Durham duo against a whole world of new challenges as they attempt to tackle the formerly uncharted frontier of a concept album. Filled with a confused amalgamation of guitar tones, chord organs and banjos -that the band may or may not have received for Christmas- “Michael’s Boat Tour” is undoubtedly the most complex, layered and sonically varied project we’ve heard from Cafe Magrana. Despite this they’ve not yet managed to surpass the “recorded inside an echoey bathroom” allegations they face from supposedly loyal listeners, thankfully allowing a startlingly DIY sound to define them for one more album.


Inspired almost entirely by a false love between a fictional Evie and the titular Michael during a fairly eventful gap year characterised by countless nautical adventures, the breakdown of a once formidable relationship and the understandably elevated emotions that stem from these occurrences. Although Michael’s boat only exists in our minds, the themes of loss, love, escaping, returning, adventure and many more are undoubtedly poorly veiled anecdotes of the artist’s own life which might add a touch of humanity to a made-up story about an 18 year old circumnavigating the globe in a small row boat while girl problems remain his highest priority.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Once again a huge thanks goes to all of the Bottom Dog Records team (made up of only manager Pete), Michael for letting us write an album about him and his lofty gap year aspirations, Rog, Julie, Millie, Evie, Jo, Ian, and Fin for putting up with us making a racket and eating most of their food, Malcy for lending us the amp, Nana for letting me dash away from hers every morning to record, anyone mentioned in any of the songs (fictional or not), Bizz for guest vocals on ‘reunion’ and of course to Luke for helping Cafe Magrana evolve from a solo endeavour into an undeniable two-piece. Thank you to everyone for listening, coming to shows or even just being nice to us and letting us dream about making the big time.



Lots of love,

Joe + Luke

credits

released October 20, 2023

Voices: Joe and Luke (and Bizz)

Guitar: Joe and Luke

Bass: Luke and Joe

Drums: Luke

Banjo: Joe

Chord Organ: Joe

Whistling: Luke and Joe

Production and Recording: Joe and Luke

Artwork: Luke and Joe

Applause: Michael, Pete, Luke and Joe

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cafe magrana Durham, UK

making music as low tech as physically possible.

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